The Mario Balotelli XI – Mad Mario’s Craziest Incidents

Mario Balotelli, love him or hate him, is a brilliant person to have playing in the Premier League. At the age of 21, Mario’s already had more than his fair share of hilarious on and off-pitch incidents.

So this week, I’ve compiled a full squad’s worth of Balotelli incidents, some outrageous, some dangerous, almost all hilarious – it has to be the Mario Balotelli XI.

The Mario Balotelli XI

Goalkeeper

Mario Balotelli
March 2010 – Wearing an AC Milan shirt whilst being an Inter player

When you play for a club, surely one thing you know you shouldn’t do is wear the club’s biggest rival’s shirt, and especially not when you’re on TV. Mario received some heavy criticism from fans, had to write a letter of apology on Inter’s official website, and was removed from the squad for a few games.

Right Back

Mario Balotelli
November 2010 – Driving into a women’s prison

Whilst the injured Balotelli was driving around Brescia with his 17 year old brother in November 2010, they were so curious about seeing a women’s prison, that they decided to have a look inside. Unfortunately for the brothers, they were stopped and interrogated for half an hour by jail officers, and were never allowed to have the tour they were so excited about.

Left Back

Mario Balotelli
December 2010 –Accepts an award, then has a pop at Wilshere, Fabregas and Rooney

When Mario won the award for being the best young player in Europe, the humble striker admitted he didn’t even know the name of runner up Jack Wilshere.

“What’s his name? Wil … ? No, I don’t know him, but the next time I play against Arsenal I will keep a close eye on him…Perhaps I can show him the Golden Boy trophy and remind him that I won it.”

He then, modestly went on to announce that he is a better player at his age than Fabregas, Rooney and Van der Vaart were, only accepting that a certain Lionel Messi was ahead of him.

Centre Back

Mario Balotelli
March 2011 – Throwing Darts at Man City academy players

Citing boredom as the main reason, Mario was caught throwing darts at youth team players through a first floor window at Man City’s training ground. Luckily no-one was hurt, but Mario received a hefty fine for his actions.

Centre Back

Mario Balotelli
April 2011 – Giving a tramp £1000 after a big casino win

After winning £25,000 in a casino with Blackburn’s Christopher Samba, Mario gave his favourite ginger homeless man a cool £1000. Stories of Mario’s generosity soon followed when it emerged he often dishes out £20 notes to Big Issue sellers.

Right Midfield

Mario Balotelli
May 2011 – Driving a truant back to school, and ticking off his bullies

The second incident which showed Mario’s angelic side was when he found a young truant hanging around Man City’s training ground. Mario questioned why he wasn’t at school, and after finding out it was because the kid was being bullied – Super Mario immediately drove him and his mother to his school, demanded to see the headmaster, and helped solve the problem between the two boys. What a guy!

Left Midfield

Mario Balotelli
May 2011 – Being unable to put a bib on.

In YouTube sensation, poor old Mario was shown up for his inability to put on a bib during the warmup for a Man City game. First he failed to put a white bib on, needing help from a coach, and then the instruction of putting on a blue bib instead proved too much for the confused Italian. You know it’s bad when Robbie Savage is taking the piss…

Centre Midfield

Mario Balotelli
July 2011 – Attempting (and missing) a illustrious backheel during a friendly

When Man City travelled to play LA Galaxy in July, our boy Mario once again made the headlines when he turned around whilst in front of goal, and nonchalantly attempted a back heel that went wide.

Balotelli was labelled as disrespectful by American TV commentators and fans as Mancini was left fuming at the Italian’s actions – but let’s face it, it was a nothing match…

Centre Midfield

Mario Balotelli
October 2011 – Sent out to get essential items, returning with a trampoline, Scalextric, 2 Vespas & a table tennis set.

When Mario’s mum arrived in Manchester to help him sort out his life, she sent him to John Lewis with a shopping list containing items including an ironing board, an iron etc. 5 hours later, Mario returned empty handed, but minutes later a lorry arrived with the items a 10 year old child could only dream of. I can only imagine his house is yet to be graced by anything on his mum’s shopping list, who needs an iron when you can trampoline your clothes

Centre Forward

Mario Balotelli
October 2011 – Setting fireworks off in his bathroom

Two nights before the big Manchester Derby, Mario and four friends decided to have a bit of fun and play around with some fireworks around his house…!?!? Mario claimed it was a friend who set one off in his bathroom, and that he was very angry at his friend for doing so.

Amazingly, since the ordeal, Mario was chosen to front the City of Manchester’s firework safety campaign. Let’s hope he takes some notice of what they say…

Centre Forward

Mario Balotelli
October 2011 – Why Always Me?

During Man City’s amazing 6-1 thrasing of Man Utd, and two nights after the Firework incident, marvellous Mario revealed his base layer shirt with the phrase ‘Why Always Me?’ printed on. Whether it’s a dig at the press, or a cry for help at why he does the things reported in the press, it’s unclear. One thing for sure though, is that football fans everywhere hope his brilliant life continues, and we wait so eagerly for the next instalment of the real life adventures of Mad Mario Balotelli!

Subs Bench

Mario Balotelli – Training ground punchup with Jerome Boateng

Mario Balotelli – Being taken on a tour around an Italian city by Mafia godfathers

Mario Balotelli – Being allergic to the grass on a pitch in Kiev

Mario Balotelli – Racking up £10,000 in parking tickets, having his Maserati impounded 27 times

Mario Balotelli – Helping Man City get knocked out of the Europa League by Karate Kicking Kiev’s Goran Popov

Mario Balotelli – Crashing his lambourghini with £25,000 on the seat, replying ‘Because I can’ when asked why

Mario Balotelli – Slagging off the City of Manchester, saying it’s not ‘up to my taste’

(Translated by Oliver Jay)

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