As we’re coming to the end of the January transfer window, you might be looking forward to how your team’s brand new signing is going to perform.
Could he be the player who will turn your season around? Well, if he’s like any of the players in this team, He might just do that – your highflying title chasing team could soon be destined for relegation…
Venezia > Manchester United – £4.5m – 1999
Taibi was possibly the worst goalkeeper to ever play in the Premiership. Coming in as a potential replacement for the Premier League’s best ever shot stopper, Peter Schmeichel – Taibi’s comical errors quickly turned him into a figure of fun across the playgrounds of England (except for Man Utd’s English fanbase in Surrey) and only lasted 4 months before being shipped off to Reggina for £2.5m.
Hamburg > Chelsea – £8.5m – 2006
Boulahrouz was signed as a versatile player who could play everywhere in defence. Unfortunately it turned out he was a useless player who couldn’t play anywhere in defence. Possibly the most comical moment during his short Chelsea career was when Robbie Keane left him on his backside after a neat stepover. Boulahrouz was quickly sent on loan to Sevilla and eventually sold to Stuttgart for just under £4m in 2008
Fulham > Liverpool – £3-4m – 2010
Paul Konchesky’s Liverpool career has been emblematic of their short spell under Roy Hodgson. After both Hodgson and Konchesky performed admirably to reach the Europa League Final with Fulham in May 2010, they both failed to please the Scouse army, with Hodgson getting the boot in January 2011, and Konchesky being rumoured to return to Fulham on loan within the next few days.
Newcastle > Real Madrid – £13.4m – 2004
A hilariously bad buy. Woodgate was injured when Madrid decided to buy him, and it probably would’ve been better if he’d stayed injured. On his debut he managed to both score an own goal and get himself sent off. With various injury spells, he managed to only pick up 9 league appearances for Real. He quickly decided to grow a ridiculous barnet and returned to England with Middlesbrough in 2006 for £7m.
Udinese > Everton – £5m – 2005
Before Krøldrup had even played a game for Everton, he managed to suffer a groin injury which required surgery. In the only game he did manage to play in, Everton lost 4-0 to Aston Villa. After not being able to adapt to the English game, he moved on to Fiorentina in 2006.
Man City > Chelsea – £21m – 2005
After being rated very highly at Man City, SWP was never able to recreate his fine form whilst wearing Chelsea’s blue. After being a bit part player for 3 seasons, perhaps sat on the bench during his best years, he went back to Man City for a meagre £8.5m in 2008.
Juan Sebastián Verón
Lazio > Man United (£28.1m – 2001) > Chelsea – (£15m – 2003)
Our team’s only terrible signing to again be bought terribly. Verón was another foreign player who struggled to perform in the Premiership, yet was able to perform much better in the Champions League.
After Man Utd fans had labelled Juan Seba a massive flop, up stood Chelsea who (despite paying half as much) were happy to take a chance on a player who had proved he couldn’t play in the Premier League. Frankly, he played rubbish for Chelsea aswell, and after a spell on loan at Inter Milan he finally joined his former Argentinian side Estudiantes when his contract ran out
Roma > Liverpool – £17m – 2009
What do you do if you buy a midfielder for £17m? That’s right, don’t play him and then send him out on loan. Despite apparently signed as a long term replacement for holding midfielder Xabi Alonso, Rafa Benitez hadn’t realised Aquilani was actually a much more attacking midfielder. Aquilani wasn’t really ever given the chance to perform at Anfield, and when Roy Hodgson came in as manager in 2010 he sent Aquilani on loan to Juventus. Shambles.
Emerson Moisés Costa
Porto > Middlesbrough – £4m – 1997
When Middlesbrough signed the Brazilian Emerson without the knowledge of current manager Bryan Robson, things seemed destined for success…
After realising that living in Middlesbrough was rubbish and being relegated, Emerson quickly fell out with his manager and fled to Brazil, threatening never to return. Eventually the situation was sorted out and Emerson was sold to Tenerife in 1998 for £4.25m.
Lyon > Fulham – £11.5m – 2001
When Fulham were promoted to the Premiership in 2001, Chairman Mohammed Al-Fayed was focused on spending lots of money in the hope they would win the league. Unfortunately, things didn’t quite turn out as planned and French striker Steve Marlet (their record signing until 2008) wasn’t able to perform anywhere near the level expected.
Somehow, Marlet was still under contract at Fulham until 2005 despite being sent on loan to Marseilles for 2 years. He left when his contract ran out and joined German side Wolfsburg.
AC Milan > Chelsea – £30.8m – 2006
The ‘what a waste of money’ chant could’ve been written specifically for supposedly world class striker, and friend of Roman Abramovich. Despite being one of the top scoring strikers in Europe for several years, it quickly became clear that Shevchenko was too slow and basically not up to performing in the Premier League. After going back to Milan on loan, he joined his former Ukrainian club Dynamo Kiev in 2009.
(Translated by Oliver Jay)
(Image Courtesy of Eastbay)